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<\/a><\/i><\/p>\nRuth Pulaski finished nursing school on June 12, 1942. Before the ink was dry on the diploma, she had her trunk packed, on her way to serve her country. To say she was excited was a misnomer. In her mind, it seemed wrong to be excited when going into a war zone. Still, she was going to be stationed in England! She\u2019d never been out of New York state before. Never been on a cruise. Never\u2014the list was too long to contemplate.<\/p>\n
Exploring London, seeing Buckingham Palace, eating British foods filled her imagination as she climbed aboard the ship that would transport her across the sea. Ruth stumbled on the gangplank and a hand grabbed her elbow to steady her.<\/p>\n
\u201cStep lively, can\u2019t fall on your face the first day,\u201d a female voice said.<\/p>\n
Ruth looked to her right and gaped. The girl who had helped her was one of the most beautiful women Ruth had ever seen. Her blonde hair was swept back in a stylish chignon, a smart green uniform indicating that she was in the Army Nurse Corps, like Ruth. She wore bright red lipstick as if her lips were meant to be that sensuous color. The green cap under her arm matched the one pinned securely on Ruth\u2019s dark curls. All around them, young women rushed past to get onto the ship. A blast of the ship\u2019s horn was loud in Ruth\u2019s ears.<\/p>\n
\u201cI always have trouble balancing on heels when walking on a ship,\u201d the woman went on. \u201cGuess we\u2019ll have to stick to more practical footwear from now on, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n
Her accent was not one Ruth had ever heard before, but she didn\u2019t want to be rude enough to ask. \u201cThank you,\u201d she said belatedly, stepping out of the way of the stream of passengers. \u201cI\u2019m Ruth Pulaski. You\u2019re a nurse, too?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLouise Larsen.\u201d Louise stuck out her hand, shaking Ruth\u2019s. \u201cYep, on my way to London.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll be in the same unit, then!\u201d Ruth exclaimed.<\/p>\n
Just like that, they became friends. Turned out Louise knew two other women in the group: Martha and Viola. By quirk of fate, Louise had been quartered with Martha and Viola with Ruth. Since the other two wanted to be stateroom mates for the cruise, it didn\u2019t take a moment to switch the assignment roster.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere are you from?\u201d Ruth asked once they\u2019d stowed their bags and were trying on life vests.<\/p>\n
\u201cDuluth, Minnesota,\u201d Louise explained. \u201cYou?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBronx, New York,\u201d Ruth answered, cinching the belt on her bright orange life vest.<\/p>\n
\u201cI love your accent!\u201d Louise exclaimed, leaning over the rail of the ship as it moved away from the shore. \u201cMust be exciting to live in New York. You sound like a character in a movie.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ruth couldn\u2019t imagine a more outrageous statement. Her favorite stars were exotic creatures living in California, not NYC. \u201cI\u2019ll admit, I never met anyone from Minnesota, but we studied the Great Lakes in geography class.\u201d She gave Lady Liberty a wave as the ship pulled out into the ocean, instinctively turning toward the horizon to face her new beginning.<\/p>\n
Ruth and Louise were delighted to share a cramped stateroom over to England. They spent the trip comparing their lives: not just boyfriends and film stars, but their aspirations and dreams. That kept them through the docking in Great Britain and the whirlwind visit to a bombed out London. Ruth looped her old Brownie camera around her neck. If she hadn\u2019t gone into nursing school, she\u2019d have been a photographer. It was one of her passions.<\/p>\n
The city was a somber reminder of how much England had already endured from the German assault.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow did anyone survive?\u201d Ruth asked, staring at the rubble of what had once been a brick building near a London bus stop. It had been over a year since she\u2019d read the newspaper articles of the London blitz. Some streets had been reduced to rubble with nothing rebuilt that she could see. \u201cI\u2019d have been so scared.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing scared and yet still doing what you have to do is true courage,\u201d Louise said softly, brushing her fingers across the back of Ruth\u2019s hand.<\/p>\n
Ruth inhaled fast. There was something about Louise, something she couldn\u2019t put her finger on. She\u2019d never made a friend so quickly. It almost felt like they\u2019d known each other all their lives. Although their interests were not similar, despite both being nurses, they meshed perfectly with each other. She felt like she could talk to Louise about anything. Strange as it sounded\u2014even to her own ears\u2014if Louise was a man, Ruth would have thought she was falling in love.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere\u2019s the bus!\u201d Louise called out gaily, holding up her fare. \u201cFirst one to spy Princess Margaret or Princess Elizabeth is a rotten egg.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ruth clambered onboard the red, double-decker bus, giddy as a school girl. Despite stark evidence of the Nazis\u2019 brutality, she was enjoying her first visit to a foreign land. The notion that the Germans could return with more bombs, more destruction, seemed so remote\u2014impossible now that the might of the United States Army had joined forces with the British and Canadians. How could the Germans possibly attack now?<\/p>\n
The bus swayed as Ruth followed Louise to the second level. They let the warm mid-June sun warm their shoulders and laughed with delight when Buckingham Palace came into view. Ruth snapped as many pictures as she dared\u2014she wasn\u2019t sure if photography was allowed in war-time London. Seeing Louise\u2019s face, her look of awe at the changing of the guard in front of the palace, Ruth had to take the photo\u2014with the guard in the background.<\/p>\n
The two friends discussed more complicated subjects on the train to Brickbarns. Like politics: Louise approved of Roosevelt\u2019s policies, but Ruth was curious to see what another president could do. FDR had been around so long. They even discussed that most taboo topic, religion.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve never met anyone who wasn\u2019t\u2026\u201d Louise glanced around the train car full of young women and men bound for the Army base. \u201cChristian.\u201d She stopped as if uncertain how to say more and her hand crept over to clasp Ruth\u2019s. \u201cI guess this is going to sound\u2014silly\u2014but, you don\u2019t seem\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cJewish?\u201d Ruth finished briskly. She was actually surprised how open-minded Louise was. Even in her fairly protected neighborhood back home, which had a large enclave of Jews, she\u2019d encountered anti-Semitism. \u201cI eat pork, I don\u2019t wear a wig, no\u2014we\u2019re not very religious. We emigrated to New York from Poland when I was five and my parents never looked back.\u201d She thought about the horrors she\u2019d read about Hitler, how he\u2019d rounded up Jews and locked them away. Would that have happened to her family if they had stayed? \u201cI think my parents didn\u2019t want to seem\u2026different here in America.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m so glad you moved to New York so I could meet you eventually,\u201d Louise said sincerely. \u201cI led such a sheltered life\u2014an all-girl boarding school, can you believe it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll girls?\u201d Ruth repeated. She\u2019d attended a crowded public school, walking the city streets back and forth even when she barely spoke enough English to strike up a friendship with another child.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was stifling, I realize now. Everyone Lutheran, everyone blond and the same.\u201d She spread her arms to include both the people on the train and the lush green countryside they were travelling through. \u201cI knew there had to be more\u2014I wanted life, purpose, meaning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs a nurse.\u201d Ruth nodded, understanding.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve never wanted anything more. Working at St. Luke\u2019s last year proved to me that I wasn\u2019t cut out to be a wife. I\u2019d waste away, if all I had to do was take care of babies and go to the ladies\u2019 guild like my mother,\u201d Louise said firmly. \u201cI think I\u2019d rather be a nurse for the rest of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what if you meet the right one?\u201d Ruth asked, thinking of the daydreams she\u2019d had. A prince to sweep her off her feet, carry her over the threshold, a white picket fence around their little bungalow. No three story walk-up for her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I already have,\u201d Louise answered, looking straight into Ruth\u2019s eyes with her lip tucked under her top teeth. She swallowed, turning away, suddenly withdrawn.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have? Who?\u201d Ruth pestered her with questions, but Louise didn\u2019t say anything more. It felt very much like she\u2019d pulled away emotionally, but Ruth couldn\u2019t fathom why. Eventually, although Ruth wasn\u2019t quite sure how, Louise directed the conversation back to other matters.<\/p>\n
Both girls agreed that they wanted to work at the front lines, where the action was. To be there immediately after the soldiers were injured. Which meant working in France. The idea sent shivers down Ruth\u2019s spine\u2014both scary and exciting.<\/p>\n
She was an old-fashioned girl, and had surprised herself when she didn\u2019t get married to some boy directly after high school like many of her friends. She had loftier ambitions. Her mother found it scandalous that her only daughter was following older brothers Alvin and Melvin into the second World War.<\/p>\n
In Brickbarns, Ruth, Louise and most of the other nurses were billeted in an old estate across the road from the Army hospital in the eastern part of England. The green hills were marvelous in early summer, complete with gamboling white sheep. There was even a picturesque British hamlet close by, exactly as Ruth had pictured. She particularly loved the gorgeous manor house with cross-timbering and mullioned windows. She and Louise ended up sharing a tiny room at the top of a rickety staircase. They were lucky: most of the nurses slept four to a room in the bigger bedchambers.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d never manage all those steps after a long shift!\u201d Viola Cunningham, laughed. She waved at Ruth and Louise as they bumped their luggage up the spiral staircase.<\/p>\n
\u201cKeeps the legs in shape,\u201d Ruth called back.<\/p>\n
\u201cHowever, Ruthie, I can clearly see that the seams in your stockings are crooked,\u201d Louise teased.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen don\u2019t look,\u201d Ruth retorted good-naturedly. Perversely, she was quite pleased that Louise did.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis must have been the maid\u2019s quarters,\u201d Louise proclaimed, panting when they reached the top. \u201cUp near the roof, like in that novel, The Little Princess.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNever read it,\u201d Ruth said, mentally making a note to do so. \u201cBut I saw the Shirley Temple movie.\u201d She looked around the six sided room with a single window. \u201cThis is \u2013I don\u2019t know\u2014 romantic.\u201d<\/p>\n
Louise\u2019s smile was a beacon in the dimness. \u201cOh, yes, sugar, it is.\u201d<\/p>\n
The next day, they were in the hospital wing, caring for soldiers, some of whom had devastating wounds. It was a rude awakening. Louise, with a year\u2019s experience in hospital nursing under her belt, seemed capable and strong, handling the caseload with aplomb.<\/p>\n
Ruth, however, felt like she was drowning. Nursing school, even when working nights on the surgical floor, had not prepared her for patients\u2014boys\u2014dying of gunshot wounds gone septic, gangrenous limbs hastily amputated on the battlefield, and shellshock that separated mind from body.<\/p>\n
Her daydreams of soothing injured soldiers while mortar fire rained around them evaporated. Nursing was incredibly hard, even in a safe, clean ward. How could she possibly manage out on the front lines in the rain, with mud up to her ankles, and not enough medical supplies? She\u2019d heard stories from other nurses who\u2019d been to France. She had enough to deal with here in Brickbarns. Twelve-hour shifts where she never got a break, eating bites of a sandwich between patients, and running to the toilet only when the soldiers were asleep.<\/p>\n
Her first death came just a week after they\u2019d arrived. Wounded men were ferried from France in any way possible, both by boat and plane, depending on the severity of their wounds. From the moment she saw Corporal James Frost, Ruth anticipated the worst. She was astonished he\u2019d survived the trip across the channel.<\/p>\n
She and Louise followed Dr. Gladstone\u2019s every order, pushing IV fluids, epinephrine, the newest sulfa drugs, all in vain. With her heart pounding in her throat, Ruth watched as Gladstone pronounced their patient dead only six hours after he’d been admitted to their hospital.<\/p>\n
Tears filming her eyes, Ruth turned away, unable to look at the dead boy any longer. Gladstone flipped a sheet over the boy and moved to the next patient. She wanted to run away and sob, rail against the fates. Why? Why?<\/p>\n
What had she expected? How could she hold on to the little bit of goodness she could offer when there were so many bullets, so many Nazis determined to kill?<\/p>\n
\u201cRuthie,\u201d Louise said softly, taking her arm. \u201cTime for a breather.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have to get Sergeant Millhouse his\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cMartha! Can you help Sergeant Millhouse for a little while?\u201d Louise called.<\/p>\n
\u201cSure thing, doll, I got it covered,\u201d the vivacious redhead relied. She bent over the patient wearing a sling on his right arm.<\/p>\n
\u201cLouise.\u201d Ruth pursed her lips together feeling like a shirker. Would the head nurse reprimand her for being such a cry-baby?<\/p>\n
\u201cThe other girls understand. You have to grieve.\u201d Louise led her outside. It was night. Due to regulations, the base was blacked out after sunset, only the stars in the heavens providing any sort of light.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe wasn\u2019t as old as me,\u201d Ruth whispered against her friend\u2019s shoulder. Louise held her tightly, letting her cry. \u201cWhat if that had been Al or Mel?\u201d The idea that her brothers might be injured had crossed her mind when she was in nursing school, helping give injections and cleaning up after a nauseated patient vomited on her nice white shoes, but that had been abstract. Here, she saw what might happen to them and it terrified her.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019d buck up, smile that gorgeous smile, and show them what you know about being a terrific nurse,\u201d Louise said softly.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave you seen someone die before?\u201d Ruth gazed up at the sky. From the base runway, she could hear the muted whine of a plane landing and knew that more injured G.I.s were on their way.<\/p>\n
\u201cUnfortunately.\u201d Louise pursed her lips, turning to look up at the stars. \u201cOld men, though, finished with their lives. Not\u2026\u201d She choked once, her breast heaving as if she were going to cry, too. But Louise drew herself up and swiped at her eyes. \u201cSoldiers arriving any moment; we\u2019d better check on the supply of dressings and sutures.\u201d<\/p>\n
She patted Ruth\u2019s belly, her hand flat on Ruth\u2019s blood-spattered uniform for a second longer than absolutely necessary. \u201cYou all right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou really think I\u2019m a terrific nurse?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d Louise smiled, her face lovely in the moonlight.<\/p>\n
Ruth would have swooned if it had been anyone else and her heart gave an abrupt thud. This was just her friend Louise, not some romantic prince to sweep her off her feet. \u201cI think you\u2019re the best nurse I ever met\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n
Ruth made good friends in Viola and Martha. She delighted in the boys who got out of bed to play an impromptu game of baseball using their crutches as bats and dented bed pans as bases.<\/p>\n Occasionally, she took pictures of the young men, arms draped around their squadron mates, ready to be flown back into combat. Those were hard to bear because the boys might never return. Ruth cried with the soldiers when their comrades died, finding that writing notes home to grieving families helped her own pain and loss.<\/p>\n All through it, there was Louise, right beside her. Ruth would look up from changing a bandage to see Louise\u2019s bright blue eyes, full of love and joy. When they walked by one another, their hands would brush. Louise sometimes gave Ruth\u2019s hand a quick squeeze.<\/p>\n Ruth always felt that tiny\u2014she really didn\u2019t know what to call it\u2014tingling in her lower parts. It was a sensation she\u2019d come to associate with Louise. No boy had ever made her feel that excited, that\u2026she almost blushed just thinking the word aroused.<\/i> She\u2019d never imagined that another woman could make her feel that way, but from what Martha and Viola described about experiences with their boyfriends, the feeling was exactly the same.<\/p>\n The best times were always at night, when she and Louise had time to talk in their attic room. They\u2019d taken to jamming into the same bunk, hip to hip, arms around each other. One night in mid-autumn, they curled together, taking turns reading bits of letters from family out loud.<\/p>\n \u201cLouise, \u201c she said, looking down at her roughened, cracked knuckles curled around the note from her mom. The harsh soap they washed with didn\u2019t compare with Palmolive back home. \u201cI have to tell you something. We\u2014we talked about going over to France, to take care of the G. I.\u2019s on the front lines, but–\u201c She resolved not to tear up. That seemed to happen so often around Louise. \u201cThe bullets and bombs scare me so.\u201d<\/p>\n Louise nodded, pulling her close. \u201cI\u2019ve known you didn\u2019t want to for a long time,\u201d she whispered. She touched her lips to Ruth\u2019s.<\/p>\n Not a real kiss, not much more than momentary pressure, but Ruth was sure Louise\u2019s red lipstick had been seared to her mouth. She wanted so much more than that, but\u2014it was wrong, on so many levels.<\/p>\n She really didn\u2019t know how what to do about it. Girls and boys had been created to go together. She was a nurse; she knew how the penis fit into the vagina, even if she was still a virgin. It was wrong to sneak looks when Louise stripped out of her blood-spattered nurse uniform and stood at the basin wearing only her Army regulation plain white brassiere to wash up quickly before bed.<\/p>\n Very wrong. <\/i><\/p>\n Ruth still did it every night. Their room was tiny\u2014what else did she have to look at? The thing was, she was fairly sure\u2014make that positive<\/i>\u2014 that Louise looked at her, too.<\/p>\n \u201cIs that all right?\u201d Louise asked softly, touching Ruth\u2019s curls. \u201cYour eyes are so bright, like lamps.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2014\u201c Ruth breathed out, scared, her heart racing. She kept flashing back to that night when Louise had held her close after Corporal Frost died. Why would she compare a night of such horror with this lovely, this\u2026kiss? Could she even call it a kiss?<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d Louise climbed quickly out of the cot, her creamy cheeks flaming. \u201cI thought\u2014Ruthie. I\u2019ve done it before, with really\u2026\u201d Louise hitched a breath and went on as she weren\u2019t obviously about to cry. \u201cReally close girlfriends. I was carried away\u2014I\u2019m really sor\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t be.\u201d Ruth scrambled out of bed and pulled Louise around to face her. She was astonished that her friend was crying. Louise never cried. Not even when fresh faced boys who barely needed to shave bled out and died. Never, not even on the nights when Ruthie was overcome with homesickness and the dread of holding the hand of yet another soldier facing life without his legs. \u201cI liked it.\u201d<\/p>\n Louise looked up hopefully, blue eyes filled with tears.<\/p>\n \u201cI loved it,\u201d Ruth whispered, her heart soaring when she pressed her lips against Louise\u2019s.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve wanted to do that for a long time,\u201d Louise admitted. \u201cYou make me happy, Ruth. Like I could burst out singing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo!\u201d Ruth cried, clapping her hands. Louise had a beautiful voice.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me\u2026\u201d<\/i> Louise sang, holding out her hand to Ruth.<\/p>\n Her heart soaring with happiness, Ruth swung their clasped hands in time to the melody. Who needed a radio when she had such a wonderful singer right beside her.<\/p>\n It was innocent, she convinced herself. They were best of friends, closer than sisters. They held hands under cover of the tablecloth in the mess hall when no one was looking. On their rare nights off, Ruth dated the able-bodied soldiers, dancing to Benny Goodman in the USO shack, and even had the occasional pint at the local pub near the base. That was just as innocent, but it was allowed.<\/p>\n Autumn turned unto winter and Ruth could hardly believe that she\u2019d already been in England half a year. The time had flown, with long work hours and an exhausting pace. While Louise admitted that the snow was nothing next to Duluth, it carpeted the entire base in freezing whiteness. Ruth was very cold, far colder than she\u2019d been in a New York snowstorm, mostly because the only heater in their tiny loft room was a potbelly stove. The wind rattled the ancient panes of glass in the turret window at night.<\/p>\n Not that they spent much time in their room. The work was unceasing\u2014lots of soldiers had been transferred from France and other parts of Europe to recuperate before being shipped back to the States. Sometimes Ruth felt so tired she could sleep for a week, but looking across the ward at Louise always revived her on the worst shift.<\/p>\n Louise seemed to radiate beauty, composure, and quiet strength. Her hair was always pinned up in a blond bun, that white cap squarely in place, and her long, narrow fingers busy with writing notes or rolling bandages.<\/p>\n Ruth was in love. She knew it\u2014that Louise loved her was even more clear. The sweet glances when they were too busy to even chat, the expression in her eyes as if she was memorizing Ruth for fear of losing her.<\/p>\n What would become of it? They couldn\u2019t continue much longer, that was for sure. Yet Ruth never wanted what they had to end.<\/p>\n \u201cMother thought nursing was a gentile job for a lady,\u201d Ruth said one night, trying to wash the stains out of her uniform in a tiny basin. She didn\u2019t even want to think about what had caused that brown blotch on the sleeve.<\/p>\n \u201cHa!\u201d Louise said explosively, hanging her dripping panties on a line strung across their room. \u201cLittle does she know that we handle their privates daily to get them to void.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI never mention that in my letters home.\u201d Ruth giggled. Letting the white fabric soak, she wiped her hands and broke off a piece of Hershey bar, handing over the rest so Louise could take her share. \u201cMother keeps asking if I\u2019ve met a nice boy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy mother does the same.\u201d Louise leaned against the wall, biting her hunk of chocolate. She seemed pensive, her mind half on something else. \u201cNever been interested in dating\u2014boys.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wanted to help our G.I.s, but I figured I\u2019d meet a nice soldier and settle down once this was all over,\u201d Ruth said, sucking on her Hershey square. \u201cBeen here six months already and haven\u2019t met a single man I\u2019d willingly marry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDidn\u2019t figure on any other alternative?\u201d Louise asked with a sad, sweet smile, pushing more coal into the pot bellied stove. The clothes dripping on the line steamed in the heat.<\/p>\n \u201cIt never even occurred to me,\u201d Ruth admitted, facing the stove. It paid to turn one way or the other every few minutes to keep her entire body warm. She touched Louise\u2019s hand gently. \u201cWe can\u2019t keep\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d Louise licked the melting chocolate off her finger with a distracted air as if her thoughts had suddenly gone far away. \u201cWe\u2019ve played with fire for too long, bound to get burned.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMartha told me she saw you speaking with Major Passmore yesterday.\u201d Ruth said cautiously. \u201cShe\u2019s such a nosy-Nancy.\u201d Ruth was surprised to see Louise\u2019s eyes go wide as if she hadn\u2019t thought anyone knew. \u201cDid you get a promotion?\u201d she asked, wringing her uniform to get out as much water as possible. \u201cYou deserve it\u2014you\u2019ve worked so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n Louise handed her the last of the candy bar, looking down at the floor. \u201cGosh, no. He–uh\u2014asked to take me to the USO shack.\u201d<\/p>\n The way she spoke, as if she\u2019d latched on to the most convenient story, proved it wasn\u2019t the truth but Ruth wasn\u2019t about to pry. She was<\/i> concerned. \u201cDid you accept? Sergeant Vincent, you know, Anzio? Keeps pestering me to go with him to the dance.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRuth, you of all people know I don\u2019t want to\u2014go walking with a soldier,\u201d Louise said sharply. She turned to the tiny window, raising her head as if she could feel sun on her face. Except there wasn\u2019t any. Icy rain splattered against the glass, chilled wind pushing through all the drafty places in the old walls.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d Ruth draped her uniform over the line. Yes, she knew. Even though she was improbably in love with her best friend, and Louise was in love with her, it could never be. They had to conform, to be the good girls society expected them to be.<\/p>\n Stomping the snow off her boots, Ruth shrugged out of her coat in the wide kitchen of the manor house, exhausted after her shift. The room was redolent with the scent of a cake baking in the oven\u2014probably for the New Year\u2019s party. Half a dozen nurses, most in the same sleep-deprived state she was, were huddled around the table with cups of strong British tea.<\/p>\n \u201cWant a cuppa?\u201d Viola asked, using the quaint British expression. She tapped the brown tea pot. \u201cEnough for one more.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, thanks. I\u2019m sleeping for as long as I can before the transports fly in,\u201d Ruth answered. She\u2019d never exchange her love of coffee for tea.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t forget the New Year\u2019s party at the enlisted men\u2019s club tonight,\u201d another nurse called out. \u201cThe place\u2019ll be jumping.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat I\u2019ll wake up for.\u201d Ruth grinned, climbing the stairs to her garret. Viola\u2019s original prediction that she\u2019d hate the long climb after working on her feet all day had come true. Still, the small room was a quiet nest where she could spend peaceful hours with Louise. She hadn\u2019t seen her friend since earlier in the day when Louise left the hospital to do a few errands.<\/p>\n Louise was sitting on the bunk, reading a letter. It didn\u2019t look like the usual mail from home. Ruth recognized the letterhead, even upside down and backwards. Official Army correspondence.<\/p>\n \u201cRuthie,\u201d Louise said, her voice quivering with emotions. \u201cI\u2019ve got news\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n \u201cOrders?\u201d Ruth asked, staring at her. Louise\u2019s long blond hair had tumbled out of the usual tight bun, flaxen strands shining in the light from the single lamp. Apparently, she hadn\u2019t gotten any sleep: she still wore a white uniform with a blue sweater over the top.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been reassigned, to the Pacific theatre. On an island.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d Where had this come from? <\/i> Ruth gulped, unable to comprehend what she\u2019d heard. \u201cWhere?<\/p>\n \u201cNew Caledonia.\u201d Louise held up the letter. She looked desolate and elated at the same time.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy?\u201d Not really sure what she was asking, Ruth wanted to bury her head on Louise\u2019s shoulder, cling to her and never let go.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t know if my request would be granted,\u201d Louise said, gazing at Ruth steadily. \u201cI saw where we were heading and I wanted you so badly it hurt.\u201d She touched Ruth\u2019s sleeve tentatively, then let her hand drop to her lap. \u201cBut\u2026you were right, we can\u2019t let this get out of bounds.\u201d<\/p>\n “It’s far too late for that,” Ruth said so softly she wasn\u2019t sure she\u2019d spoken out loud. Snatches of conversations and passing comments came back to her. \u201cThat time Martha saw you talking to Major Passmore,\u201d she guessed. She didn\u2019t know quite what he did, but he worked in the General\u2019s office. He\u2019d have access to information necessary for transfers and reassignments.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d Louise bit her bottom lip, crushing the letter in her trembling hand. \u201cI put in the request for a transfer months ago. That day\u2014I was asking if he\u2019d heard anything.\u201d She gazed at her with such powerful love that Ruth felt like she would drown in those blue eyes.<\/p>\n Abruptly turning, Louise raised her face to the minuscule window as she often did. Snow was falling, wet flakes sticking to the pane. \u201cI left Duluth to get away from snow. I wanted warm sea waters, a beach, and palm trees.\u201d<\/p>\n Ruth laughed wretchedly. \u201cSoutheast England wasn\u2019t your first choice, then?\u201c Tears clogged her throat but the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of Louise. \u201cWhen\u2026\u201d She rubbed her lips. \u201cWhen are you being shipped out?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTomorrow morning.\u201d Dropping her orders to the floor, Louise took Ruth\u2019s hand, clasping it between both of hers. Their matching red fingernail varnish shone brightly in the lamp light. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, sweetie.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean\u2014January first? They gave you one day?\u201d Ruth retorted angrily. \u201cI don\u2019t want you to leave!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI thought there\u2019d be longer to say good-bye. I\u2019d stay with you forever if I could.\u201c Louise ducked her head, her hair loose around her cheeks. \u201cI never planned on\u2026falling in love.\u201d<\/p>\n Ruth always thought Louise looked exactly like Cinderella or maybe Sleeping Beauty with her cornflower blue eyes, delicate complexion, and that dazzlingly blond hair. She brushed a fair strand back from Louise\u2019s face to see her properly and was astonished when Louise kissed her hand.<\/p>\n Just the touch of Louise\u2019s lips on her knuckles sent waves of bliss through Ruth. This was no longer innocent. She accepted that.<\/p>\n Ruth leaned in and kissed Louise on the lips, the way she\u2019d wanted to for months. This was wonderful and scary, although it felt wrong. Even so, she knew she would love Louise Larsen until the day she died.<\/p>\n Kisses led to nuzzling. Ruth was breathless and giddy in minutes. \u201cLouise, what if the other girls–?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo one ever comes up this far,\u201d Louise said, but she paused, listening.<\/p>\n They could both hear the high pitch of women\u2019s voices but the house was well built, and actual words were indecipherable. Ruth found herself torn between wanting intimacy and afraid of the consequences. What if they got caught?<\/p>\n \u201cI love you,\u201d Louise murmured into her curls. \u201cI have since you tripped walking onto the ship.\u201d She reached up and carefully undid the row of buttons on Ruth\u2019s stained uniform.<\/p>\n \u201cYou saved me.\u201d Ruth sighed, leaning against the pillow. Louise gently slid Ruth\u2019s uniform off, leaving her in bra and underpants. \u201cI love you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n Louise pressed a kiss onto Ruth\u2019s neck and another lower on her right breast. Ruth wasn\u2019t sure if she should let this continue\u2014how she wanted it! <\/i> Should she reciprocate?<\/p>\n Ruthie.\u201d Louise skimmed her fingers over the elastic of Ruth\u2019s panties. \u201cDo you want this?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d Goosebumps erupted down Ruth\u2019s arms and legs and she shivered. The cold air on her exposed belly had nothing to do with her sudden tremors. \u201cLouise, I\u2019m a vir\u2026\u201d she gasped.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you still will be, sugar,\u201d Louise answered, her face flushed with arousal. \u201cThat\u2019s the beauty of it.\u201d<\/p>\n There was sadness in her voice, tempered with love and obvious desire. Her eyes were wide, the pupils dilated. Louise laid the flat of her hand on Ruth\u2019s pelvis, over her panties. Ruth gasped, the tingling in her loins that she\u2019d come to associate with Louise about to drive her mad. If Louise\u2019s fingers went any lower, did that turn Ruth into some kind of deviant?<\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d Ruth asked, trying desperately to slow her thundering heartbeat.<\/p>\n \u201cMake love to you.\u201d Louise smiled mischievously. \u201cIt\u2019s sweet and feels incredible, like, bubbles under your skin. Remember when we went out to that pub with the girls and drank Shandy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGinger ale and beer,\u201d Ruth said. The beer here was much darker and more bitter than what she was used to in New York, but the sweet-hot carbonated soda had filled her with effervescence. Exactly how she felt now, only doubly so.<\/p>\n Louise\u2019s finger on her skin felt terrific. Why was it wrong? She was a good girl. She\u2019d only put her own fingers down there once or twice. It was nice, in a wet sort of way, but\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cStop thinking, sugar,\u201d Louise whispered. \u201cI love you so much, I want to give you this—.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA memory?\u201d Ruth arched up to steal a kiss. Louise\u2019s lips were soft, warm. The women breathed into each other, slow and steady, giving and accepting love. Ruth could feel Louise\u2019s heart thudding in time with her own. It was powerful, strong. \u201cFeels like I swallowed a sparkler on the Fourth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cForget what your mother told you; masturbation won\u2019t make you go blind,\u201d Louise said in a silky tone that sent more shivers down Ruth\u2019s spine. She pressed kisses in a trail down Ruth\u2019s flat belly, leaving perfect mouth prints in lipstick. \u201cOr I\u2019d be like one of the three mice.\u201d Louise hummed the nursery tune, walking her fingers into Ruth\u2019s plain white, regulation Army panties.<\/p>\n \u201cBut this won\u2019t be masturbation,\u201d Ruth replied, seeing a loophole in her mother\u2019s rules. She hitched a breath, her belly touching Louise\u2019s wrist.<\/p>\n \u201cNope. It\u2019ll be\u2014\u201c Louise used both hands to pull Ruth\u2019s undies off, \u201cswell.\u201d<\/p>\n When she tickled her fingers inside Ruth, it was magical.<\/p>\n \u201cDamn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!\u201d Ruth didn\u2019t wait a moment longer. She spread her legs.<\/p>\n Louise smoothed back the slippery folds of Ruth\u2019s inner lips and probed gently at her vagina. That felt wonderful, but nothing prepared her for when Louise bent down to lick her.<\/p>\n Fireworks erupted in her brain. Ruth gasped, flexing both legs and almost kneeing Louise in the mouth. Panting, she grabbed onto Louise, the orgasm ripping through her being like a storm. \u201cI never felt anything like that!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re my everything.\u201d Louise smiled joyfully. \u201cThis has to be\u2014\u201c She stopped speaking, her face abruptly bleak.<\/p>\n \u201cThe only time, ever,\u201d Ruth finished, one ear tuned to the occasional noise from the lower stories of the house. \u201cIt\u2019s too dangerous.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t want your life ruined, sugar,\u201d Louise said finally, shoving her long hair back. \u201cThat\u2019s why I have to leave. We could be court marshaled if anyone found out. My mother, your mother, would disown us.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you\u2019ve done this before,\u201d Ruth stated, the bland fact ugly. She almost wished this could be their special secret, unlike anything else.<\/p>\n \u201cNot with\u2014\u201c Louise ran her thumb down Ruth\u2019s cheek to her collarbone. \u201cNot with someone so special that I\u2019d give my soul to spend the rest of my life with.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo you\u2019ll just leave because–?\u201d Ruth couldn\u2019t stop the tears this time.<\/p>\n \u201cIf I don\u2019t leave now, after we\u2019ve had six months, I\u2019d never be able to leave you ever.\u201d Louise squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. Her voice unsteady but no less lovely, she sang, \u201cDon\u2019t sit under the apple tree with anyone else\u2014\u201c<\/i><\/p>\n \u201cBut me \u2018til I come marching home,\u201d <\/i> Ruth joined in, tears on her lips.<\/p>\n They fell asleep curled in each other\u2019s arms, the war far from their thoughts.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d Louise asked without opening her eyes. \u201cI can feel you staring at me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTime for the New Year\u2019s bash.\u201d Ruth jumped out of bed. She couldn\u2019t dwell on what was happening in the morning or it would consume her. She allowed herself one last time to watch Louise change clothes; removing her wrinkled uniform and changing into a blue and green challis dress with a cinched waist.<\/p>\n \u201cNow you,\u201d Louise said, placing the flat of her hand on Ruth\u2019s belly. \u201cThe dress with the big red flowers. It looks so lovely on you.\u201d She almost choked, her voice fraught with unspoken pain and desire.<\/p>\n Taking Louise\u2019s cue, Ruth raised her chin proudly. They would get through this. They would survive, even if it didn\u2019t feel like it now. She tried valiantly to think of something completely different to talk about.<\/p>\n \u201cI heard on the BBC radio that Rommel is trapped in Tunisia,\u201d she said, stepping into the dress Louise held out. When Louise\u2019s fingers touched Ruth\u2019s bare skin, her resolve nearly crumbled. \u201cAnd Japan may abandon Guadalcanal.\u201d She faced Louise, trying to match that brave smile and twirled around in the full skirt simply to see the rapt love on Louise\u2019s face.<\/p>\n They lingered too long in their room, giving in to one last kiss before putting on lipstick and styling each other\u2019s hair. The other nurses would be wondering where they were.<\/p>\n Ruth trotted down the stairs behind Louise, teetering in high heels. \u201cD\u2019you think Rommel\u2019s defeat and the Japanese change of course could turn the war?\u201d Ruth asked, determined to keep the conversation far from romantic clap-trap. \u201cIf our side gets Guadalcanal, maybe we\u2019ll secure the Solomon Islands and forge the way to Japan?\u201d<\/p>\n Snow was deep on each side of the road and it was icy cold. Ruth shivered as she and Louise crossed onto the base to get to the enlisted men\u2019s club. The New Year\u2019s eve party was in full swing by the sound of the music audible even yards away.<\/p>\n \u201cThen I wouldn\u2019t be needed in the Pacific, you mean?\u201d Louise put her gloved hand to Ruth\u2019s cheek, her eyes bleak. \u201cThe end to the war with the Japs would be swell, but I don\u2019t think it will happen by tomorrow morning, sugar.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can dream, Louise, I can dream.\u201d Her heart already breaking, Ruth opened the door to the club. Crowds of soldiers were dancing to a recording of the Andrews sisters singing Don\u2019t Sit Under the Apple Tree. <\/i><\/p>\n \u201cOur song,\u201d Louise said, blinking. There were tears glistening on her lashes. \u201cI wish we had, just once.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSat under the apple tree?\u201d Ruth whispered. \u201cEvery time I see one, you\u2019ll be there with me.\u201d In her heart, she said \u201cI love you, Louise Larsen,\u201d <\/i> one more time.<\/p>\n Taking off her coat and hat, she watched as young men lined up to twirl Louise onto the dance floor, her skirt swinging as she struggled to keep up with her partner. Louise never could dance. Nibbling on cake, Ruth sat out the first few numbers, gazing at Louise.<\/p>\n One of her dance partners had a crooked grin and lively blue eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cRuthie, this is Ben,\u201d Louise said, panting. There was a calculating gleam in her eye. \u201cI think the two of you should take the next one while I go get a cup of punch. You wore me out, Ben!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHiya, Ruthie,\u201d Ben said. \u201cYou like Glenn Miller\u2019s Tuxedo Junction<\/i> or In the Mood<\/i> better?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMmm,\u201d Ruth started, looking up into his eyes. They were deep blue and full of sunshine. Ruth sighed. She knew what Louise was doing. Girls dated boys. That was expected. Girls didn\u2019t pine over their female roommates, not if they wanted a nice normal life in New York City with their Jewish community.<\/p>\n \u201cIn the Mood, <\/i>\u201d she said, hearing the familiar opening chords of the song start up.<\/p>\n \u201cExactly what I was in the mood for, myself.\u201d He grinned, leading her out between other dancers. \u201cWhere you from?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUnless I miss my guess,\u201d she said, his accent as dear as one of her brothers’, \u201csame place you are.\u201d He was an excellent dancer. She matched him step for step.<\/p>\n Louise Larson flew out of Ruth Pulaski\u2019s life on an icy New Year\u2019s day. Ruth stood on the tarmac waving until the plane was out of sight. She felt as frozen inside as the icicles decorating the manor house. Back in the tiny attic room, she pulled out the packet of photos she\u2019d snapped in London. Ruth touched the first picture she\u2019d ever taken of Louise. In profile, watching the changing of the guard. It seemed apt.<\/p>\n Change, even when she didn\u2019t want life to go on.<\/p>\n Ruth exchanged letters with Louise, tales of the ward where they\u2019d both worked, and the antics of the healing patients. She always drew a small red apple tree at the bottom of the note. Louise sent back exciting missives filled with stories of the tropics, the work in the main Army hospital\u2014which sounded exactly like what Ruth did in Brickbarns. Beside her signature was a small green apple.<\/p>\n Their letters got farther apart as the months went by. It was inevitable, the war ground on, there were always more wounded servicemen, and little leisure time. Ruth began seeing Ben regularly. She didn\u2019t love him, wasn\u2019t sure she could, but he was a good man. He made her laugh. It had to be enough. Louise wrote of a young airman she was dating in one of her last letters. Surprised, Ruth sent back a note wishing Louise happiness, well aware there wouldn\u2019t be any more correspondence.<\/p>\n Ruth and Ben Starsky got married six months later by the Army chaplain. It wasn\u2019t a proper Jewish ceremony with a huppah, but even so, her mother was ecstatic.<\/p>\n Ruth told herself to never look back. Ben\u2019s homecoming in 1944–and the birth of her first son, David, nine months after that–kept her mind busy and her heart full.<\/p>\n \u201cKenny,\u201d Louise cried, pulling Hutch into a hug. \u201cHow are you holding up? You look tired. It\u2019s never easy to sleep in a hospital waiting room; your back must be twisted like a pretzel.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMother,\u201d Hutch rolled his eyes. \u201cI\u2019m thirty-four years old.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStill my little boy, sugar.\u201d She winked, patting his cheek. \u201cHow\u2019s David? Did the antibiotics clear up his infection?\u201d Louise hefted her carry-on bag, starting down the hallway.<\/p>\n \u201cLet me carry that,\u201d Hutch said, taking her bag. \u201cDoctors say he\u2019s improving steadily,\u201d he added with only a small amount of trepidation. He\u2019d admit to a strange superstition about Starsky\u2019s recovery. He didn\u2019t want to sound pessimistic, but he was cautious about optimism, as well. There were so many hurdles before Starsky would be up and around. The recent infection on the lung the bullet had pierced was just one such setback. Starsky had weathered it well, but what if there were others?<\/p>\n \u201cHow long until Mrs. Starsky\u2019s plane lands?\u201d Louise looked around LAX airport with interest. \u201cMaybe we can get a sandwich and a cup of coffee? And what\u2019s her first name?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRuth. Did I tell you she used to be a nurse like you?\u201d Hutch asked, turning left toward the American Airlines section. \u201cBut apparently, that was back in the war. She hasn\u2019t done any hospital work since then.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, you didn\u2019t! What a coincidence, I wonder where she was stationed.\u201d Louise chuckled. \u201cIt\u2019s no surprise she didn\u2019t work\u2014most husbands would not have allowed it in the fifties. Such a chauvinistic period! I only went back to nursing after the divorce, because I couldn\u2019t stand being cooped up in the house all winter long.\u201d She paused beside one of the floor-to-ceiling windows to watch a plane land. \u201cWhich way is the beach? Any chance we can take a swim one day?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI knew you\u2019d want to go.” He laughed. She hadn’t changed. She\u2019d always complained bitterly about Minnesota winters. \u201cMy friend, Huggy Bear, actually set up a day trip for you and Ruth, if she wants, on Thursday, to go to San Diego.\u201d He had to testify in court about the assassination attempt that day, but he wasn\u2019t going to tell his mother that.<\/p>\n They found an inexpensive restaurant near the American Airlines departure gates and sat down to eat. As usual of late, Hutch had only had coffee for breakfast and had forgotten to eat lunch. When Louise bought him a turkey on whole wheat with a side salad, Hutch couldn\u2019t refuse. She gave him one of those patented \u2018listen to your mother\u2019 expressions and he was reduced to a ten-year-old. Plus, he had to admit the meal was surprisingly tasty. He even stole a few of her French fries.<\/p>\n \u201cThank you for asking me to come out, Kenny,\u201d Louise said sincerely, taking a sip of Coca-Cola. She left a perfect red lip print on the rim of the paper cup. \u201cYou\u2019ve always been such a private person, shouldering all the burdens yourself.\u201c<\/p>\n Hutch shrugged self-consciously, well aware that he did that. He couldn\u2019t help it. He\u2019d felt like the man of the house when his father moved out, charged with protecting his mother and sister. It was only natural he extend that protection to his best friend and lover.<\/p>\n As he and his mother stood, Hutch decided now was the right time to tell her about him and Starsky. Something about the way she looked up at him, loving and kind, made him think she would understand. He pulled her into a quiet alcove near the waiting area.<\/p>\n \u201cMom, before Ruth gets here, I have\u2026\u201d Hutch licked his lips, looking anywhere but at Louise. He could see the ground crew stewardess going over to open the jetway door. \u201cI know this will come out of left field, but\u2026Starsky and I\u2026\u201d He gazed at the group of passengers emerging from American flight 62 from LaGuardia. \u201cWe\u2019ve gotten together and\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n \u201cSpit it out, Kenny,\u201d she said, rolling her eyes. She peered at the newly arriving passengers. \u201cWhatever it is, I\u2019ll support\u2014\u201c Louise froze, sucking in a breath.<\/p>\n Almost interrupting his mother, Hutch blurted out, \u201cStarsky and I are in love.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cRuthie,\u201d Louise whispered.<\/p>\n Hutch caught sight of Starsky\u2019s mother in the crowd. Small and neat, she wasn\u2019t a great beauty, but there was something compelling in her dark blue eyes. Ruth was waving and abruptly stopped, her gloved hand still raised in the air. She had an oddly stricken expression, amazement and hope mixed into one.<\/p>\n \u201cI never imagined\u2026\u201d Louise took a hesitant step forward.<\/p>\n Hutch glanced at his mother and grabbed for her arm, afraid she was going to faint. Her perfectly made up face was ashen, her eyes wide.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s David\u2019s mother?\u201d Louise pulled out of his grasp.<\/p>\n \u201cLouise,\u201d Ruth proclaimed, beginning to run.<\/p>\n Other passengers went around the two women, streaming past without paying much attention. Hutch stood, rapt, as Louise and Ruth folded into each other’s arms, laughing and crying with joy. He watched as they leaned in close, sure that his mother was about to give Ruth Starsky a kiss. At the very last moment, it didn\u2019t happen, but Hutch couldn\u2019t miss the immediate connection.<\/p>\n \u201cYou look exactly the same!\u201d Ruth proclaimed, beaming up at the taller woman. She covered her mouth, coughing, but that didn\u2019t hide her brilliant smile.<\/p>\n Exactly like Starsky\u2019s, <\/i> Hutch thought, wishing his buddy were here to see this reunion.<\/p>\n \u201cSo do you,\u201d Louise said reverently.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t.\u201d Ruth touched the graying curls under her small blue hat. It matched her blue coat. \u201cOlder and fatter.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know each other,\u201d Hutch declared, shepherding them toward the restaurant to be out of the flow of passengers running for their gates.<\/p>\n \u201cWe were\u2014\u201c Louise started, looking directly at Ruth.<\/p>\n \u201cIn England together, roommates!\u201d Ruth finished her sentence, clearly enamored of her old friend.<\/p>\n There was more to it than that, <\/i> he was sure of it. \u201cYou didn\u2019t keep in touch?\u201d<\/p>\n Seeing the two of them, side by side, Hutch saw himself and Starsky. One tall and blond, the other shorter and brunette\u2014she was going gray, but not totally. They couldn\u2019t take their eyes off one another.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s been thirty-six years, Kenny,\u201d Louise said, over her shoulder. \u201cSo much to catch up on, Ruthie.\u201d<\/p>\n She touched Ruth\u2019s pink cheek so intimately that Hutch wanted to look away. Was this how people viewed him and Starsky? So wrapped up in each other that everyone else was extraneous?<\/p>\n \u201cHusbands, kids, lives to live,\u201d Ruth murmured, leaning into Louise\u2019s palm. \u201cI heard you got married, but not much else.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTwo children, Ken and Karen, then divorced in 1957,\u201d Louise said with a shrug. \u201cWater under the bridge. Went back to nursing.\u201d She linked her arm through Ruth\u2019s towing her along to baggage claim. \u201cYou? Of course, I know about David.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI married Ben Starsky, the boy you introduced me to on your last night,\u201d Ruth admitted.<\/p>\n Louise laughed with delight. \u201cI was your matchmaker? How ironic.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTwo sons, David and Nicholas. Ben died in 1958,\u201d Ruth explained, taking two steps for every one of Louise\u2019s, her low heeled black pumps click-clacking on the linoleum.<\/p>\n Bemused, Hutch followed. In all the hubbub, he wasn\u2019t sure his mother had heard his declaration about Starsky. He was far more intrigued with a part of Louise\u2019s past he knew nothing about\u2014and definitely wanted to learn more.<\/p>\n \u201cI truly can\u2019t believe that you\u2019re David\u2019s mother!\u201d Louise exclaimed when Ruth grabbed her sensible black suitcase off the carousel. \u201cHave you been out to Bay City before?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, yes, my brother\u2014You remember Al\u2014lives here. He watched Davey after Ben died. My other brother was killed in the war,\u201d Ruth said quickly as if getting through the emotional news fast.<\/p>\n Just like Starsky would, <\/i> Hutch thought.<\/p>\n \u201cI came to see our boys, when was it, Hutch? July of \u201977?\u201d Ruth continued.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, because we went to a ballgame,\u201d Hutch confirmed, shifting his mother\u2019s carry-on to his left hand to relieve Ruth of her case. He couldn\u2019t wait to get the women settled and talk to Starsky\u2014with any luck, privately. In a thousand years, who would have guessed this amazing connection? Even all of Starsky\u2019s favorite \u2018what-if\u2019 scenarios could not have conjured up this. \u201cMy car\u2019s in the parking lot, across the street there.\u201d He tilted his chin at the door out of the baggage area.<\/p>\n \u201cKenny and David came out to Duluth about a year ago.\u201c Louise glanced at her son, beaming. Her eyes were so bright even he was dazzled. \u201cYou have a very handsome son.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think yours is terrific!\u201d Ruth laughed, looking up at Hutch.<\/p>\n Caught in the tractor beam of two sets of blue eyes, Hutch forgot to look before he took a step off the curb. A taxi whizzed by, the honk of its horn assaulting his ears.<\/p>\n \u201cRemember to look both ways before you cross the street,\u201d Louise reminded him with amused parental superiority.<\/p>\n \u201cBoys.\u201d Ruth shook her head, coughing delicately into her fist. \u201cWho would have thought, Louise, our sons would be best friends?\u201d She caught Louise\u2019s hand, squeezing tightly.<\/p>\n Hutch was beginning to believe that his life had changed in very elemental ways, and it wasn\u2019t just because he was in love with his male partner.<\/p>\n Now, although ripped to pieces by automatic weapon fire, Davey led\u2014Ruth had to think for a moment, even as she pulled her first born to her breast. She kissed his forehead, both eyes, and then his whiskery cheek, pulling back to look at him again.<\/p>\n He looked whole. <\/i><\/p>\n Complete. <\/i><\/p>\n In a heartbeat, she knew why. Hutch.<\/i> When she\u2019d visited two years ago\u2014was it really that long ago since she\u2019d seen Davey? \u2014she\u2019d seen their friendship, felt their love, like a palpable bond connecting them.<\/p>\n Funny she hadn\u2019t seen Louise\u2019s face in Hutch\u2019s. They were very much alike. But she had tried to banish Louise from her mind so very long ago. Stopped thinking about her\u2014for the most part.<\/p>\n Still, she\u2019d have been blind not to realize that Davey and Hutch had more than a partner brotherhood. Once upon a time, she might not have used the word romantic to describe two people of the same sex, but she was all too aware that it could happen.<\/p>\n \u201cI missed you,\u201d Starsky whispered, gazing at her joyfully. He clasped both her hands.<\/p>\n \u201cI wanted to come sooner\u2014\u201c She tried to stifle the cough rising in her chest. Not wanting to cough in his face, she turned, finding herself looking directly at Louise.<\/p>\n Astonishing to realize how long it had been. Felt like moments since she\u2019d seen Louise tripping over Ben\u2019s feet dancing the jitterbug. The old feelings flooded back as if it were December 1942 again. She wanted to slowly peel off Louise\u2019s sophisticated sweater set and see if she was wearing a regulation Army brassiere underneath. Her cheeks flushed with heat.<\/p>\n Louise\u2019s lips curved into such a sly, knowing smile that Ruth knew she was having the same fantasies. What a couple of old tarts they were!<\/p>\n \u201cMa?\u201d Starsky asked. He sounded confused. Little wonder.<\/p>\n Ruth settled on the edge of the bed, gazing at Louise. When she took his hand and put out her left to Louise\u2019s, he reached out to Hutch. They made a ring, holding onto family and loved ones, a circle of gratefulness and hope.<\/p>\n \u201cKenny,\u201d Louise said briskly, cocking her head. \u201cYou probably thought I didn\u2019t hear you in the airport.\u201d<\/p>\n Hutch opened his mouth to speak, going red.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d Starsky asked suspiciously, staring at his partner. He pulled a hand free, pushing himself awkwardly up in bed.<\/p>\n Ruth immediately went to his aid, but he waved her away.<\/p>\n \u201cHe told me.\u201d Louise smiled. She looked straight at Ruth when she said, \u201cThese two are in love.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHutch!\u201d Starsky cried in horror.<\/p>\n \u201cMom!\u201d Hutch said at exactly the same moment.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s no surprise,\u201d Ruth chuckled. \u201cI figured that out two years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBefore we did?\u201d Hutch asked, leaning weakly against the wall beside the bed. He absently rubbed his breastbone with a strangely bemused expression.<\/p>\n \u201cI must have been blind not to see it last year.\u201c Louise glanced at Ruth. \u201cThere\u2019s another reason I should have recognized the signs\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n Everything inside Ruth melted. She remembered how much she\u2019d wanted Louise 36 years ago. During the war, the most difficult time in her life, this woman made her whole. Could they\u2019d actually be together again now?<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019d understand far better than most,\u201d Ruth finished, rubbing her thumb against Louise. They were both wearing matching bright red nail polish. She\u2019d given up the red lipstick that Louise wore so beautifully, but she did love having pretty nails.<\/p>\n \u201cHold onto your hat, Starsk,\u201d Hutch warned. \u201cI think I got a taste of this at the airport.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019re you talking about?\u201d Starsky inhaled raggedly, carefully putting his hands behind his head. \u201cI\u2019m ready. What\u2019s goin\u2019 on?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m going to tell you a story,\u201d Ruth said, her memories flying back to that special day in June 1942. \u201cBefore the ink was dry on my diploma, I had my trunk packed, on my way to serve my country\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n The End<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hutch stood in the doorway of Starsky\u2019s hospital room, watching his partner sleep. It seemed almost indulgent to have such a luxury of time. The last ten days had been intense, too horrible to relive, even in memory. But that … Continue reading <\/a><\/i>
\nThe patient load never got better, but Ruth learned to roll with the highs and lows of the job. She worked with a good group of nurses. The other girls were always ready to lend a hand with complicated procedures or lifting heavy patients. With so many injured arriving daily, the nurses had to work split and overlapping shifts to ensure the wounded soldiers had adequate care.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/i>
\nDecember passed in a haze. The weather was horrible: snow storms kept the planes grounded, which decreased the patients in the ward. Despite the lull, there was more than enough to do, and working briskly kept a body warm.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/i>
\nIt was nine-thirty at night when Ruth came abruptly awake. She\u2019d slept far longer than she expected. Luckily, there hadn\u2019t been any air raid sirens in the last few hours. Jammed against the wall in the narrow cot, she gazed at Louise, her heart aching with love. How could she go back to the ward tomorrow, knowing Louise was flying away forever?<\/p>\n<\/a><\/i>
\n\u201cMom!\u201d Hutch waved, catching sight of his mother as she came out of the jetway for United. She never seemed to change. His earliest memories were of a tall, willowy woman, her blond hair pulled into a sensible bun or a French twist for evening wear, and bright red lipstick. Didn\u2019t matter that bright red had gone out of fashion, Louise Larsen Hutchinson had a signature look, and she stuck with it. She was classically beautiful but didn\u2019t care in the slightest. One of the most down-to-earth women Hutch had ever known. He suspected it was due to working in a hospital for so many years.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/i>
\nRuth\u2019s first thought when she walked into the hospital room was that her son looked so frail. Part of her wanted to assess him as a nurse. She still had the skills; she\u2019d kept her hand in, working as a volunteer school nurse in the last few years. Part of her wanted to hold her son in her arms and never let go. Almost like when he came back from Viet Nam. Only then, he\u2019d simply looked shattered.<\/p>\n