{"id":251,"date":"2020-06-18T02:38:34","date_gmt":"2020-06-18T02:38:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/?p=251"},"modified":"2020-06-18T02:38:34","modified_gmt":"2020-06-18T02:38:34","slug":"june-18th-grocery-store-duty-by-april-valentine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/?p=251","title":{"rendered":"June 18th- Grocery Store Duty by April Valentine"},"content":{"rendered":"

March, 2020<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky and Hutch are two detectives in the Bay City P.D., Metro Division, in their mid-30s. They are partners on the street and off.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you work homicide! But it\u2019s crazy out there,\u201d Captain Dobey bellowed at the roomful of detectives. \u201cEverybody\u2019s on supermarket duty \u2013 as of now! So get your butts out there!\u201d He made a sweeping gesture that included everyone else in the squad room, then returned to his office, slamming the door behind him.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was kind of crazy, Hutch had to admit. They\u2019d noticed how full the parking lots of the stores were on their way into Metro this morning. The news and social media were full of speculation about the new disease that was affecting other countries and was reportedly on its way to the United States. It was something new and deadly, with no cure and more questions than answers. Everyone was feeling anxious and people had become fearful of shortages, seemingly overnight. So Dobey\u2019s plan was to make sure there weren\u2019t actual riots by assigning everyone to the local grocery stores to help out.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the squad, sheepish looks were exchanged. Before anyone could blame Starsky and Hutch for the captain\u2019s latest tirade, Starsky grabbed his partner\u2019s arm and shoved him toward the door.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey!\u201d Hutch protested.<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky pushed the swinging doors open with his left hand, while propelling Hutch through them with his right. Once in the corridor, he spoke.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid ya see the way the guys were lookin\u2019 at us? They were about to get on our case because\u2019a Dobey\u2019s yellin\u2019!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOur<\/em> case?\u201d Hutch squawked as they left the building and headed toward the parking lot. \u201cYou<\/em> were the one that was all \u2018we\u2019re detectives, we\u2019re needed for murder investigations\u2019. Not me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, well, I didn\u2019t hear you disagreein\u2019,\u201d Starsky groused as he dug his keys out of the pocket of his tight jeans. He knew that at most, his partner\u2019s argument was just for show. It\u2019s what they did. Bickering was just part of their day, the way they did things. So many of the other cops told them they acted like an old married couple it wasn\u2019t even a joke any more.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch settled his lanky frame into the passenger seat of the red 2019 Mustang that his partner had personalized with a wide white stripe along both sides, and as soon as Starsky turned the key, he pushed the button that lowered his side window. \u201cWell, it is a beautiful day, Starsk,\u201d he said, glancing up at the cloudless Bay City sky. \u201cWould you rather be looking at blood stains and picking shells out of walls or going to Ralph\u2019s to make sure people aren\u2019t hoarding toilet paper?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky\u2019s driving picked up speed. \u201cI\u2019d rather be fighting actual crime, buddy boy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTell me that the next time you run out of T.P.\u201d Hutch laughed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNobody\u2019s runnin\u2019 out of toilet paper. That\u2019s the just the media hypin\u2019 things up,\u201d Starsky informed him as they neared the Ralph\u2019s market Dobey had assigned them to.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, Starsk,\u201d Hutch answered. \u201cYou know how people are. They get scared when this kind of thing happens. It\u2019s a new disease nobody knows anything about. They see what\u2019s goin\u2019 on in China and Europe. They want to be prepared.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI guess,\u201d Starsky agreed reluctantly. \u201cThis new Corona-whatever is bein\u2019 talked about everywhere.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s why they call it a \u2018global\u2019 pandemic,\u201d Hutch pointed out. \u201cIt\u2019s going to be everywhere, all over the globe. Scary stuff.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI guess so. People get scared of what they don\u2019t understand,\u201d Starsky nodded as he put on his turn signal.<\/span><\/p>\n

The parking lot was packed, Hutch noted as they turned into the lot. Instead of looking for a space, Starsky pulled the Mustang right up into the pick up lane, turning on his lights. For good measure, Hutch placed the blinking red light atop the car.<\/span><\/p>\n

As they were climbing out, loud voices could be heard at the entrance.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s mine, I tell you! Mine!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI saw it first! And you\u2019ve got plenty in your cart anyway!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Two women who looked to be in their 40s were struggling over an extra large package of Charmin that neither wanted to let go.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLadies, ladies,\u201d Hutch said, moving up to them. He smiled, planning on using his nice-guy charm to try to defuse the argument. \u201cWhat seems to be the trouble here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s mine!\u201d the woman with dark hair shouted, taking that moment to yank the package out of her opponent\u2019s hand. She slammed it into her cart and began pushing it toward the parking lot.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, no, you don\u2019t.\u201d Starsky physically blocked her way. He grabbed the front of her cart and leaned toward her. \u201cNow it looks to me as though both of you have plenty. Unless somebody at home has diarrhea, nobody needs to buy that much.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, that\u2019s the most insulting thing I\u2019ve ever heard!\u201d the woman yelled back at him, attempting to yank her cart from Starsky\u2019s grasp.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLook lady,\u201c Hutch said, dropping his pretense of diplomacy and showing her his badge. \u201cWe told you, you\u2019ve both got plenty.\u201d He appropriated the giant pack of Charmin from the cart himself. \u201cIf neither of you paid for this, you can leave it here. So unless one of you wants to get a ticket for shoplifting, you both can go on your way home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Fuming, neither of the women had anything more to say. Starsky let go of the cart and the women stormed past them.<\/span><\/p>\n

The detectives exchanged a puzzled look. \u201cI\u2019m beginning to think Dobey was right,\u201d Starsky said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m beginning to agree with you,\u201d Hutch nodded, putting his hand on his partner\u2019s shoulder and giving a reassuring squeeze.<\/span><\/p>\n

Together they entered the grocery store.<\/span><\/p>\n

A harried looking man was standing near the door, pleading with customers not to buy so much, entreating them to leave something for other customers. Noting the name badge he wore, Starsky and Hutch walked up to him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you the manager?\u201d Starsky asked, reaching for his badge.<\/span><\/p>\n

The man nodded, looking more distressed as he acknowledged the question. \u201cI\u2019m Fred Emerson.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch showed his own badge as well. \u201cWe were sent out to help with any problems.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Emerson, whose brow was damp with sweat, heaved a sigh. \u201cThanks, but I don\u2019t think sending two cops is gonna do much good.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the basic problem?\u201d Starsky asked, ignoring the manager\u2019s negativity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe problem? The problem is my idiot customers are trying to fit the whole damn store into their carts! There\u2019s no reason to start hoarding! But they won\u2019t listen!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Neither Hutch nor Starsky had a good response to that statement. They could hear loud voices coming from every part of the store as shoppers yelled and argued.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe’ll do what we can,\u201d Hutch said in his best mollifying voice. Together with Starsky, he turned to head into the fray.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, right,\u201d Starsky muttered as the two of them took in the chaos. They had faced down whole gangs of armed criminals, but they weren\u2019t trained to handle irate shoppers.<\/span><\/p>\n

Their eyes met as they stood in the center of the store, between the refrigerated section and the paper products. Both of them still had their badges in hand. Starsky gave Hutch a pointed look and raised his left hand high, waving his badge for all to see.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, everybody! Listen up!\u201d he announced, \u201cthis is the BCPD. Stop yellin\u2019 and fightin\u2019 over food and toilet paper, right now!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A sudden silence fell as the customers stopped in their tracks and gazed at the two cops in surprise.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d Hutch chimed in. \u201cNobody can take more than their fair share. Yes, there\u2019s a new disease that\u2019s out there. Everybody is scared. But that\u2019s no reason to\u2026\u201c he stopped just short of saying \u201close your mind\u201d and continued with \u201cstart hoarding. There will be enough for everyone if you just buy what you need.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey say we\u2019ll have to start staying home,\u201d one woman spoke up. There were two crying toddlers in her cart, along with several cases of baby food and huge packages of toilet paper. \u201cWe won\u2019t be able to come out and shop in another week!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch nodded, realizing that she was concerned. \u201cYes, ma\u2019am and if that happens, you will still be able to shop online.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m buyin\u2019 what I want and you can\u2019t stop me!\u201d a tall, lanky guy in his early twenties piped up, attempting to shove his cart, laden with hand sanitizer and bacterial wipes, past Starsky. \u201cI\u2019m gonna make a fortune selling these!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWait just one lovely minute there.\u201d Starsky stuck his foot out, stopping the cart\u2019s movement. \u201cYou\u2019re planning on price gouging?\u201d His eyes went to Hutch\u2019s.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch stepped closer to the younger man\u2019s cart. \u201cYes, it\u2019s not such a good idea to admit you\u2019re planning on committing a crime.\u201d He took a ticket book out of his back pocket and flourished a pen.<\/span><\/p>\n

The guy turned a stubborn gaze on the cops. Ducking his head, he muttered, \u201cJust the American way\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch was undeterred. \u201cUnless you put all of that back, we can run you downtown right now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

That caused the man to change his tune. \u201cAll right. Geez, nobody can make a buck these days.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Surprisingly, the woman with the toddlers was on Starsky and Hutch\u2019s side. \u201cYeah, go put that stuff back,\u201d she told him, \u201cget a real job!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A few of the patrons actually clapped.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, that\u2019s more like it,\u201d Starsky told them approvingly. \u201cNow, everybody, start doing the right thing here. Okay?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a long day at the Ralph\u2019s, but Starsky and Hutch were able to encourage most shoppers not to hoard and to stop arguing with other shoppers. Hutch wasn\u2019t sure if their brother cops had been as successful.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust heard on the news,\u201d the store manager said, coming up to them at closing time. \u201cMost stores are completely out of toilet paper and lots of other stuff. There have been a number of arrests for fighting and shop-lifting. You guys really did help a lot here.\u201d Mr. Emerson glanced forlornly at his empty shelves. \u201cI mean, at least you stopped actual fights from happening.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust doing our jobs,\u201d Hutch told him, modestly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI have a feeling this is going to get a lot worse before it gets better,\u201d Starsky said, holding out a shopping basket.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhatcha got there, Starsk?\u201d Hutch peered into the basket. All it contained was some ground meat and a box of Cheerios.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wanted to grab us a coupla steaks for tonight,\u201d his partner said sadly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me check the freezer,\u201d the manager told them. \u201cThere must be something in there. It\u2019s the least I can do after your help today.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Mr. Emerson,\u201d Starsky said, \u201cbut we can\u2019t take freebies.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you\u2019re going to pay for it,\u201d Emerson told him with a grin.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Later that night, sitting in Hutch\u2019s greenhouse, full from the t-bones that Mr. Emerson had found in his store\u2019s freezer, they sat side by side, thighs touching.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat a day,\u201d Starsky said, \u201cI\u2019m pooped. How do those cops that work crowd control all the time do this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch, who\u2019d been scanning the news on his cell phone, just shrugged. \u201cI don\u2019t know, Starsk. I guess there\u2019s worse things.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the news sayin\u2019?\u201d his partner asked, leaning his head against Hutch\u2019s shoulder.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat sometime next week, the governor could start implementing stay at home orders. Unless someone has what they call an \u2018essential job\u2019, everybody is going to be asked to stay at home. No wonder people were trying to buy up everything they could lay their hands on.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cStarsk, this is unheard of. Quarantining a whole country? How\u2019s that going to even work? And look at this \u2013 over in Italy, they\u2019re using churches as morgues.\u201d He turned the phone in Starsky\u2019s direction so he could see. \u201cThis could get bad.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I heard they\u2019re going to close schools and malls too,\u201d Starsky informed him.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch continued scrolling through his phone. Starsky reached out and took it from him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe got the internet. A lotta people can work from home these days,\u201d Starsky told him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, cops can\u2019t,\u201d Hutch sighed. \u201cWe\u2019re the essential workers.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cToo bad,\u201d Starsky said, lifting his head to gaze up at him. \u201cMight be nice to be quarantined with you.\u201d He leaned up to kiss the full lips he never tired of.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMmmmnn,\u201d Hutch responded, deepening the kiss. Moments later, when they had come up for air, he went on. \u201cMight have to start wearing protective gear on the streets.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky waggled his eyebrows. \u201cYou mean condoms?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRubber gloves and face masks, mushbrain,\u201d Hutch corrected him, leaning down for another kiss. He didn\u2019t want to think of this new coronavirus right now. All he wanted to think about was getting his partner in his arms and making love to him until they both forgot there was a world outside, pandemic or not.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

An hour later, Hutch stretched and sighed, his body still enjoying the afterglow. His hand slid across the bed in search of his partner. The space where Starsky should be was empty though.<\/span><\/p>\n

He was just about to call his name when Starsky yelled out, \u201cOh, no!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, Starsk?\u201d Hutch responded, wondering what the problem was. Armed intruders? Bay City lost the game? No dessert in the fridge?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe spent all day in that grocery story, and I forgot we were out of toilet paper! I just finished off our last roll!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch groaned and rolled over. \u201cWe\u2019ll get some tomorrow, babe,\u201d he called out. Even if we have to get it at gunpoint, he thought drowsily, stifling a chuckle — though he hoped that wouldn\u2019t have to be the case. Who knew what was going to happen next?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere are lots of alternatives,\u201d he called out, knowing Starsky wouldn\u2019t want to hear about Earth-friendly substitutes for toilet paper.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI am not usin\u2019 corn cobs or catalogues or – or whatever those \u2018Save The Earth\u2019 blogs you follow think works!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll find some,\u201d Hutch shouted back, smiling at the expected response from his partner. \u201cNow get back in here with me! I\u2019m lonely!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cInna minute,\u201d Starsky responded and Hutch could hear him walking quickly back to the bedroom. \u201cBut don\u2019t think you\u2019re gonna keep me up all night, Blintz,\u201d he said, diving into the bed and snuggling up against Hutch\u2019s body. \u201cWe need to rest up. Dobey might give us grocery store duty again tomorrow!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch wanted to tell him that at least they\u2019d be more likely to be able to buy more T.P. if that happened, but his retort was smothered by Starsky\u2019s eager kiss.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

March, 2020 Starsky and Hutch are two detectives in the Bay City P.D., Metro Division, in their mid-30s. They are partners on the street and off. \u201cI know you work homicide! But it\u2019s crazy out there,\u201d Captain Dobey bellowed at … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fic","category-sfw","category-slash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=251"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":253,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251\/revisions\/253"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}