{"id":69,"date":"2020-06-01T03:50:12","date_gmt":"2020-06-01T03:50:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/?p=69"},"modified":"2020-06-01T03:50:12","modified_gmt":"2020-06-01T03:50:12","slug":"june-1st-starskys-plan-for-cleaning-out-the-fridge-by-matsir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/?p=69","title":{"rendered":"June 1st- Starsky’s Plan for Cleaning Out the Fridge by MatSir"},"content":{"rendered":"

Starsky\u2019s Plan For Cleaning Out The Fridge by D. Starsky<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

(Found by MatSir in a stack of old police reports marked Must Be Rewritten)<\/p>\n

1.<\/span><\/strong> See if you can wheedle, trick or seduce Hutch into doing it for you.<\/p>\n

1a.<\/span> <\/strong>No luck? On to step two.<\/p>\n

2.<\/strong> <\/span>Pull out everything that doesn\u2019t make your skin crawl and set it aside.<\/p>\n

3.<\/strong> <\/span>Okay, you\u2019re going back in — you can do this! — you\u2019ve faced down mob bosses for Pete\u2019s sake so man up! Pull a chair, trash can and that container for Hutch\u2019s homemade fertilizer up to the scene of the crime and start sorting the remains.<\/p>\n

3a.<\/span> <\/strong>If you can identify it, but it\u2019s some Twilight Zone version of itself, it goes in Blondie\u2019s compost bin.<\/p>\n

3b.<\/strong> <\/span>If you can\u2019t id it or there\u2019s slimy goop or that gray-green-blue fur in the container, toss it in the trash can.<\/p>\n

3b-1.<\/span><\/strong> Don\u2019t let Hutch catch you tossing out \u201cPerfectly Good Tupperware\u201d he\u2019ll dig it out and swear it\u2019s still usable after a good wash, no matter what kind of smell haunts the plastic.<\/p>\n

4.<\/strong><\/span> Wash the shelves and drawers.<\/p>\n

4a.<\/strong> <\/span>Keep the trash can nearby just in case your fingers encounter some semi-gelatinous relic behind the crisper; it\u2019s quicker to toss your lunch right there instead of trying to make it to the john.<\/p>\n

4b.<\/span><\/strong> Million dollar idea! Wax job! Like for a car, but for the refrigerator so stuff cleans off easier.<\/p>\n

4b-1.<\/strong><\/span> Ignore Hutch\u2019s reaction. His car\u2019s parts haven’t seen a wax job since rolling off all its various showroom floors.<\/p>\n

5.<\/strong><\/span> Put back the still-probably-good stuff so Hutch has something to throw away when it\u2019s his turn to tackle this tzuris<\/em>.<\/p>\n

6<\/span><\/strong>. Find the red Sharpie. Write the date and \u2018I did it last time!\u2019 on the new baking soda box.<\/p>\n

6a.<\/strong> <\/span>Vow not to let the offer of a Hutchinson Two Hour Special con you into doing this when it\u2019s his turn.<\/p>\n

7.<\/strong><\/span> Starving! Call for a pizza.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Starsky\u2019s Plan For Cleaning Out The Fridge by D. Starsky (Found by MatSir in a stack of old police reports marked Must Be Rewritten) 1. See if you can wheedle, trick or seduce Hutch into doing it for you. 1a. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-69","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fic","category-sfw","category-slash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=69"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":205,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69\/revisions\/205"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=69"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=69"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=69"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}