{"id":74,"date":"2020-06-06T03:39:13","date_gmt":"2020-06-06T03:39:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/?p=74"},"modified":"2020-06-06T03:39:13","modified_gmt":"2020-06-06T03:39:13","slug":"june-6th-of-crickets-and-men-by-daisy-morgan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/?p=74","title":{"rendered":"June 6th- Of Crickets and Men by Daisy Morgan"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cHey, you hear that?\u201d Starsky asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHear what?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat chirping sound. You don\u2019t hear it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a cricket. What about it?\u201d asked Hutch.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it sounds like it\u2019s in the house.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think so. It\u2019s clearly coming from outside.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo, it\u2019s not. It\u2019s too loud to be coming from outside. It\u2019s inside, I\u2019m tellin\u2019 ya!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cStarsk, crickets make loud noises. It\u2019s probably right outside the greenhouse on the steps or something.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky got up from the sofa and marched towards the greenhouse to investigate. \u201cThe door is closed, how can it sound that loud if the door is closed?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t hear it at all now. Do you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky tilted his head slightly and listened. \u201cNo. Maybe you were right. It probably flew away.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCrickets don\u2019t fly, they jump.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, well then, it probably jumped away.\u201d Starsky went into the kitchen to grab a beer, jumping every few seconds as he went. \u201cYou want a beer? Hey, Hutch?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But Hutch had gone into the bathroom. Starsky shrugged, grabbed two beers, pried the tops off, and sauntered over towards the sofa. As he approached, he saw something move on the rug. \u201cWhat the\u2026?\u201c He went over to have a closer look just as Hutch came out of the bathroom.<\/span><\/p>\n

As Starsky bent down to examine the curious specimen, the cricket chirped aggressively and jumped towards him. \u201cAaahh!\u201d Starsky wailed and recoiled as liquid flung out of the open bottles in his hands and splashed onto the rug. \u201cThere it is!\u201d He pointed triumphantly with one hand, further spilling more liquid.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere what is? And look what you did, dummy, you spilled beer all over the living room!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe cricket! I told you it was inside!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is it?\u201d asked Hutch.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know, it jumped at me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe it landed in that thick mop of curls on your head,\u201d Hutch teased.<\/span><\/p>\n

Panicked, Starsky hastily put the bottles down on the coffee table, spilling more beer, and ran his hands through his hair, frantically feeling for the insect as his partner laughed. \u201cVery funny,\u201d he said drolly. \u201cHow do you suppose it got in the living room? Did it hop up an entire flight of stairs and open the door?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt probably came in on one of the plants.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean, like a stowaway?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I guess. A stowaway. Anyway, forget about the cricket, Starsk, we\u2019re never gonna find it. And even if we do, we\u2019re never gonna catch it. Why don\u2019t we just sit down and watch the game?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, fine, but it better not jump in my beer!\u201d Starsky whined.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhich beer would that be, pal? The beer in the bottles or the stuff you managed to spill all over the house?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Neither of them noticed the cricket had already beaten them to the sofa and was happily anticipating watching the game by itself. As they approached, the cricket became annoyed at the rude interruption and jumped off the sofa onto the orange shag rug. This time, Hutch was the first to see it. As the cricket jumped, so did Hutch, falling backwards into Starsky, who caught him with both arms.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy\u2019d you do that?\u201d Starsky yelled.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe cricket, what do you think?\u201d Hutch yelled back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe gotta find this thing; I won\u2019t be able to sleep knowing it might jump on me in the middle of the night!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure it has no interest in doing that, Starsk, although I might wanna jump on you in the middle of the night,\u201d Hutch said with a wink.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHmm,\u201d Starsky considered, \u201cDo I hafta wait \u2018til the middle of the night?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFirst one to the bed gets to top! And go!\u201d Hutch shouted as they both ran towards the bed and leapt onto it, landing together with a hard bounce.<\/span><\/p>\n

The cricket, peacefully slumbering there, was getting most irritated by their constant interruptions. It made its distaste known by chirping loudly, scuttling across the quilt, and leaping into the plant on the nightstand.<\/span><\/p>\n

The guys, startled by the cricket\u2019s mad dash across the bed, both jumped off of it as well, landing on top of each other on the floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis wasn\u2019t exactly what I had in mind, Blondie!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to catch this fucking insect!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd soon; it\u2019s ruining my love life!\u201d Starsky grumbled.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch stood up, carefully lifted the plant, and brought it into the greenhouse, shutting the door as he walked back into the bedroom. \u201cThere, it\u2019s gone. See? Problem solved.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFinally! I\u2019m calling top!\u201d Starsky proclaimed. \u201cHey, hand me the lube, will ya?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch opened the nightstand drawer, grabbed the tube and, startled when the cricket hopped out of the drawer, fell backwards onto the bed. The tube fell out of his hand and landed softly on the quilt. The cricket was getting increasingly irritated at this point and scurried off unseen as the invaders quarreled with each other.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFuck!\u201d Hutch yelled while Starsky laughed and proceeded to mock him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFuck, huh? That\u2019s what I was hopin\u2019 we\u2019d do! You said \u2018It\u2019s gone, see? I carried it out to the greenhouse. Problem solved!<\/em>\u2019 You\u2019re a regular boy scout, aren\u2019t ya!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey didn\u2019t teach us how to catch crickets indoors in the Boy Scouts!\u201d Hutch protested.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you oughta record a song, then.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, like your idol, Buddy Holly did.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yeah, right. Real funny. But don\u2019t you worry, I\u2019ll catch that sucker!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell you better make it fast, partner. Because I don\u2019t know how much longer I can last, under the circumstances!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

They proceeded to look for the insect under every piece of furniture in the bedroom and in every nook and cranny, but found nothing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think\u2026?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShhhh,\u201d Hutch whispered, putting his hand over Starsky\u2019s mouth. \u201cLet\u2019s see if it makes a sound.\u201d They waited for what seemed an eternity but there was no stridulation forthcoming from musical insect wings.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll bet it knows we\u2019re lookin\u2019 for it, so it\u2019s purposely bein\u2019 quiet. Let\u2019s go into the kitchen; maybe it\u2019ll come out of hidin\u2019.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d Hutch said doubtfully, as they both walked out of the bedroom.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hutch grabbed the half-empty beer bottles from the coffee table as he walked towards the kitchen, while Starsky sat down in a kitchen chair and put his feet up on the other chair. The cricket, spying a menacing pair of blue Adidas quickly approaching, leapt up off the chair, causing Starsky to tip over backwards, which knocked Hutch off balance, catapulting the beer bottles out of his hands and across the room once again.<\/span><\/p>\n

They both breathed a sigh of relief as the glass bottles landed safely on the thick shag rug, spilling their remaining contents across the floor as they went.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSonofabitch!\u201d Starsky and Hutch yelled simultaneously as Starsky grabbed his partner\u2019s hands and pulled him up to a standing position.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSo, what now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe find that fucker and we stomp it, that\u2019s what!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Starsky recoiled in horror at Hutch\u2019s words.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, come on, you know I would never do that, Starsk. I was just letting off some steam.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I have an idea! How about we slam a Tupperware over it? Then we can slide a plate under it and carry it outside?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s actually not a bad idea. Here, how about this one?\u201d Hutch asked as he rummaged through the kitchen cupboard and pulled out an avocado green plastic bowl.<\/span><\/p>\n

With Hutch holding the Tupperware and Starsky leading the way, they inched their way around the apartment in search of the elusive Brachytrupe, but to no avail.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is ridiculous!\u201d Starsky whined. \u201cWe\u2019re never gonna catch it, and now I\u2019m startin\u2019 to get hungry. Why don\u2019t we just go to my place, babe? We can deal with the cricket tomorrow.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSounds like a plan, buddy. I\u2019ll just grab the lube\u2026.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo need, I bought a new tube yesterday.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

As the echoes of the slammed door and the footfalls on the stairs began to recede, the cricket came out of its hiding place under the tube of lube, hopped off the bed onto the floor, and settled comfortably on the sofa.<\/span><\/p>\n

With refreshing puddles of beer splattered across the floor, and the TV tuned to the game, the cricket settled in for a long, relaxing evening.<\/span><\/p>\n

When the game was over, he realized he was lonely and remembered the female cricket he\u2019d seen outside earlier, which he\u2019d started to woo before being rudely interrupted by the large mammals that infested the place. He hopped up on the bed, climbed onto the tube of lube, and began to chirp. Maybe he\u2019d get lucky tonight if he played his cards right.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cHey, you hear that?\u201d Starsky asked. \u201cHear what?\u201d \u201cThat chirping sound. You don\u2019t hear it?\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s a cricket. What about it?\u201d asked Hutch. \u201cWell, it sounds like it\u2019s in the house.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t think so. It\u2019s clearly coming from outside.\u201d … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-74","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fic","category-sfw","category-slash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=74"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":226,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74\/revisions\/226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=74"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=74"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/solstice.starskyhutchcalendar.net\/2020\/calendar\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=74"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}