Note: The Car Talk stories are a group of stories connected only because the action in each story takes place in a car. The stories are not continuous.
#2 – American Royalty
The silence in the LTD had stretched too long for Starsky’s liking. Sometimes, quiet was good, in the right and infrequent circumstances, but that was rare for the chatterbox from Brooklyn.
“So, you still mad at me, babe?” he finally ventured with trepidation and sweetness.
Hutch nailed him with a look that proclaimed, This is your fault. “You just had to open that big trap of yours. I wanted to be on the detail guarding the president, but, no, you had to tell that Secret Service agent that you couldn’t wait to meet King Peanut.”
“It was a joke, Hutch. Is it my fault feds don’t have a sense of humor?”
“No, it isn’t, but it is your fault that we’re out watching for god-knows-what on the edge of our jurisdiction. Hell, I even cleaned out the car just in case we got to work that detail.”
Starsky stole a quick look at the back seat; he couldn’t tell much of a difference, except for maybe there was cleaner garbage. And the addition of a bicycle tire pump.
“He’ll be back and by then, the Secret Service’ll have forgotten all about it.”
Hutch snorted lightly. “I don’t think Dobey will have. He’s got the memory of an elephant.”
“And body to go with it.”
Dual snickers followed that comment before another long silence ensued, and the car seemed to fill with Starsky’s pout and Hutch’s disappointment.
Hutch’s sigh, which had a hint of a chuckle in it, disrupted the quiet. “‘King Peanut.’ Good one, Starsk.”
They looked at each other, both faces masking what was so close to revealing itself.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Like a whale breaching the ocean’s surface, raucous laughter erupted from both men.
Author’s Note: According to Ultimate70s.com, President Jimmy Carter toured California in mid-May 1977.
King Peanut. lol Did you make that up? It did take me a few seconds to catch on, wondering who was the short president. 😉 And Hutch’s idea of cleaning out the car is unlike anyone else’s, or at least Starsky’s. Very cute!
Thanks, CE. I think I made up “King Peanut,” but who knows if I heard it back in the ’70s and my brain just decided to own it. I also think Hutch tried to get Fifi to clean out the car for him, but even she wouldn’t do that for him.
Loved it.
Hutch’s untidy car has always been a mystery to me, seeing how much care he takes of his apartment.
But then… I look at my own car and should not be wondering any longer.
Thanks, Kira.
As I mentioned above to CE, not even Fifi would clean it for him! And he dresses so neatly. Go figure.
Thanks for the laugh I got at your last line!
Loved this!
Loved Hutch’s idea of having cleaned his car!
Thanks, Lapfordlass. Gotta love Hutch giving into his inner slob.
LOL. Hutch clean his car, never. Thank you.
Thank you, wightfaerie. Maybe Hutch takes some sort of perverse pride in his trashed-out beater.
I don’t remember ‘King Peanut,’ but I do remember Carter being derisively called The Peanut King (he’d been a peanut farmer in GA, right?) Trust Starsky to turn it around and make it funnier. This is a sweet little ficlet, Maria, perfect for the calendar. Well done, m’dear!
Thanks, Pat! I don’t recall Carter ever being called “The Peanut King,” but then that was decades ago and I probably deleted that bit of info long ago. Yep, he was a peanut farmer and a nuclear engineer in the US Navy.
Another great story, M H E Priest! Thank you so much for this funny gift! KUDOS
Thanks, Nancy! Pleased to hear it tickled you.
Another winner! I almost spit out my yogurt reading “Starsky stole a quick look at the back seat; he couldn’t tell much of a difference, except for maybe there was cleaner garbage.”
I hope there are more of these to come! Thank you, MHEP!
Thanks, MatSir! And I SWEAR I wrote this way before I read your too-funny piece on cleaning out the fridge. Great minds?
One more in this group to come. Eventually there will be more on AO3 and fanfiction.net as I come up with ideas and actually write them.
“Cleaner garbage”, lol. Thanks for another fun ficlet! I’m glad to hear there’ll be one more for this solstice calendar!
Thanks, Mortmere!
Hutch can’t clean his car and can’t stay mad at his Starsky 😀
Love your reply, specifically “his car” and “his Starsky.” They do belong to each other, don’t they?
It fills me with glee that Hutch thinks ‘cleaning’ his car is a high honor reserved for dignitaries only 😀 Thanks, Maria!
“Clean” being defined as only Hutch can define it. Thanks for your comment and you’re welcome.
haha, that was hilarious! Loved the addition of the bicycle tire pump, lol.
Thanks, Lauren. The pump was my favorite part of the story!
That was a good one Maria. I love the King Peanut. I don’t recall that back in the 70’s either.
Thanks, Dianne. I don’t remember anyone calling him a name with “peanut” in it, but we all knew the man was a peanut farmer.
“I wanted to be on the detail guarding the president, but, no, you had to tell that Secret Service agent that you couldn’t wait to meet King Peanut.”
Ha! I burst out laughing at that part. Starsky and Hutch do have a knack for self-sabotage, so this felt true to the show.
Thanks, Monica. So cool that made you laugh so! And you are so right about that knack of theirs.
Missed their one minute of fame, eh? Lol, they’ll be other presidents…
Thanks, Dawn. Now, what can I call Ronald… I’ll think of something.